CCMH 504 Week 3 Middle Childhood and School-Age Growth Example

Nico Is Eight and Wetting the Bed Again: Competence, Coping and Ordinary Resilience in Middle Childhood

[Student Name]

University of Phoenix

CCMH/504: Individual and Family Development Across the Life Span

Week 3 Assignment

[Instructor Name]

[Date]

The counseling center, the family and all details are composites written for a model paper; theories and research findings come from the sources listed.

Nico Ortega, eight, had been dry at night since he was four. Since his grandmother moved in and his father lost his job, he has wet the bed three or four nights a week. His teacher reports that he has become quiet, no longer raises his hand and sits alone at lunch. His parents are embarrassed and frustrated. This paper examines what Nico is working on developmentally and how to help.

The School Years

Eccles (1999) reviewed development between ages six and fourteen. Children in these years build a more differentiated picture of themselves, judging their abilities in specific areas, such as reading, sports or friendships, rather than as simply good or bad. They increasingly compare themselves with peers, which can sharpen a sense of competence or of falling short. Relationships outside the family, with friends, teachers and coaches, take on greater importance, and schools and other settings support development best when they match children's growing need for competence, autonomy and belonging.

For Nico, the central developmental project is competence: feeling capable at school, with friends and at home. His withdrawal in class and at lunch suggests that the family's changes have shaken that sense. Bedwetting adds embarrassment at exactly the age when children become self-conscious about how they compare with others.

Understanding the Bedwetting

Bedwetting that returns after at least six months of dryness often follows a stressful change, such as a move, a new sibling or family conflict. Medical causes, such as a urinary infection or constipation, should be ruled out first, and I have asked the parents to schedule a visit with Nico's pediatrician. If no medical cause appears, the bedwetting is best seen as a stress response that tends to resolve as the child's sense of security returns, especially if adults respond calmly.

What Nico Is Coping With

Nico described his worries in a drawing session. His grandmother "talks funny now," and he is afraid she will die. His father "is home but sad." He sleeps in the room next to his grandmother's, and her night-time moans from pain frighten him. He has not told anyone at school about his family, and he worries that classmates will find out about the bedwetting if he goes to a planned overnight field trip.

How Children Cope

Compas et al. (2017) meta-analyzed more than two hundred studies of coping and emotion regulation in children and adolescents. Strategies aimed at changing a stressful situation or one's emotional reaction, such as problem solving and expressing feelings appropriately, and strategies aimed at adapting to a situation, such as acceptance, distraction and reframing, were related to fewer emotional and behavioral problems. Disengagement strategies, such as avoidance, denial and wishful thinking, were related to more problems.

Nico currently copes mostly by avoidance: he hides the bedwetting, avoids talking about his grandmother and withdraws from peers. This research suggests that teaching him other strategies, at a level an eight-year-old can use, could help.

Nico is not failing at being eight; he is doing the work of eight under conditions no one chose for him.

Resilience Is Ordinary

Masten (2001) argued that resilience, positive adaptation in the face of adversity, is common and usually grows out of everyday protective processes that most children have, not from rare gifts. These systems include close relationships with competent, caring adults, the developing ability to think and solve problems, self-regulation, a sense of mastery and effectiveness and supportive families, schools and communities. Children do poorly when these systems are damaged or overwhelmed, not because they lack some special trait.

That view is hopeful for Nico. He has caring parents, a grandmother who loves him, a teacher who noticed his change and an intact ability to learn and solve problems. The task is to strengthen these systems, not to repair a broken child. Framing it this way also changes how his parents see him: not as a problem to fix, but as a boy whose usual supports need shoring up during a difficult season.

Counseling Plan

I will see Nico for six brief sessions, with parents joining part of each. First, we will name feelings, using drawings and a feelings thermometer, so he can express worry rather than hiding it. Second, we will practice problem solving on manageable concerns, such as what to say if a friend asks about his grandmother. Third, we will reframe his grandmother's speech difficulties, with Esperanza's participation, so he sees her as recovering rather than dying.

For the bedwetting, I will coach his parents to respond matter-of-factly, use a waterproof mattress cover, let Nico help change sheets without blame and limit drinks before bed. If it continues after the pediatrician's visit, a bedwetting alarm may be discussed with his doctor.

School and Peers

With his parents' permission, I will speak with his teacher about the family's changes, without details, so she can encourage him and pair him with a friendly classmate. His parents and I will help him plan for the overnight trip, perhaps with discreet absorbent underwear and a teacher's quiet support, so he does not miss a chance to belong.

Culture and Family

The Ortegas value family privacy, and Ray was reluctant to tell the school anything. We agreed on a short message that respects privacy while helping Nico. In many families, older relatives are honored, and helping Nico see his grandmother as still part of his life, telling him stories about her own childhood in Sonora, may comfort him.

What Mastery Looks Like for Nico

Mastery experiences matter at this age. Nico loves building with blocks, and he and his grandmother have started a simple project together: she points to pictures in a building set's instructions, and he assembles the pieces. The project gives him something he does well and a new way to connect with her. Small successes like this rebuild the sense of competence that the family's changes shook.

Ray's Part

Nico's father is an important part of the plan. Ray has felt useless since his layoff, and Nico notices. In our joint session, Ray agreed to walk Nico to school each morning, a small routine that gives Nico time alone with his father and gives Ray a daily task that matters. Fathers' involvement in school-age children's daily lives supports their sense of security, and for Ray, being needed is part of his own recovery.

When to Look Further

If Nico's withdrawal deepened, if he lost interest in all activities, talked about wanting to die or showed persistent sleep problems after the bedwetting improved, I would consult my supervisor about further assessment for depression or anxiety.

Conclusion

Nico's bedwetting and withdrawal are understandable responses to stress at an age when competence and comparison with peers matter intensely. Research on coping and resilience points to strengthening ordinary supports, teaching active coping and protecting his sense of mastery at home and school.

References

Compas, B. E., Jaser, S. S., Bettis, A. H., Watson, K. H., Gruhn, M. A., Dunbar, J. P., Williams, E., & Thigpen, J. C. (2017). Coping, emotion regulation, and psychopathology in childhood and adolescence: A meta-analysis and narrative review. Psychological Bulletin, 143(9), 939-991. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000110

Eccles, J. S. (1999). The development of children ages 6 to 14. The Future of Children, 9(2), 30-44. https://doi.org/10.2307/1602703

Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227-238. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.227